If you’ve just come marching out of the closet, working out how and where to find other lesbians can feel like suddenly finding yourself in another country. You’ll likely be nervous, as your newly-embraced identity can feel fragile to begin with.
However, the lesbian community, although not necessarily ‘in your face’ is a strong one. With a few pointers up your sleeve, you’ll find meeting other lesbians stress-free and rewarding.
While the gay male community often takes the spotlight, the lesbian community is just as strong and supportive. Once you dip your toe in the waters, you’ll quickly find friends and people who have experienced similar situations and circumstances.
Finding and connecting with these women can feel like an impossible task.
Being new to the lesbian lifestyle can feel as though you’re at a disadvantage. While there are plenty of lesbian groups out there, taking that first step can take an awful lot of courage. To take the edge off joining a lesbian sports’ group or book club, the Internet can quickly become your best friend.
Joining lesbian dating sites is a great way to connect with other women before throwing yourself in the deep-end and meeting face-to-face. With the cloak of online anonymity at your disposal, you can interact with other women, at your own pace.
Where to meet other lesbians
If you prefer the real world to its virtual alternative, there are plenty of options available. The first and most obvious is to hunt out lesbian bars in your area. If you’re new to the lesbian world, lesbian bars can be a great way to make a start and meet new people.
Generally, lesbian bars are patronised by women who have probably been in your shoes and will welcome you into the community, without too much fuss. You may also bump into women who are in the same situation as you and are just as nervous about making connections. Either way, you’re likely to find someone to talk to, who has something valuable to offer.
Some other ideas for places to meet include:
- Volunteer for activist meetings or charity events
- Feminist book clubs
Lesbian groups are another easy way to connect with gay women. A quick Google of local, lesbian groups will tell you what’s in your area. However, don’t let the word ‘lesbian’ be your guiding light; consider your interests first. If you’re a sports’ nut or have are a passion for the arts, consider those factors first.
One of the main benefits of finding a lesbian group is that your sexuality takes second fiddle to your interest. If you go to a lesbian sculpture class, it’s a given that you’re gay and your sexual identity isn’t in question. Combining a passion for meeting people from the lesbian community is a superb way of easing yourself into the lesbian dating world.
Wondering what you’re getting yourself into? Here are some common issues and challenges in lesbian dating.
Meeting lesbians online
Meeting lesbians online is possibly the best way to find your feet if you’re new to the community. There are plenty of lesbian dating apps websites, which allow you to engage with other women at the pace that’s best for you. If you’re considering lesbian dating sites as your entry-point into the world of dating other women, there are a few things it’s worth being aware of:
- Do some research. Not all dating websites are created equally, so checking out user reviews can help you decide if you’re barking up the right tree.
- Join as a free member. While Basic Membership can be limited and frustrating, it can also give you a good idea about the type of people who use the site and what they’re looking for.
- Cast your net wide. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Whether you join a website as a free member or opt for a paid subscription, joining a few lesbian dating sites will increase your chances of finding the type of lesbian relationship you’re looking for.
- Sell yourself. Even if the idea of promoting yourself is alien to you, it’s time to think about what you’ve got to offer. Invest some time in your user profile and be sure that your profile pictures show you in your best light without showing off.
Don’t neglect your friends
Whether you’ve been out and proud for years or this is all new to you, your friends are likely to be your best resource. The people who know you best will be able to give you unbiased opinions about how to get into lesbian dating.
While might require some frank conversations, discovering how your friends see you and their suggestions on your ideal partner can be incredibly helpful. Their insight may well unearth some things you’ve never thought of and inform your journey towards rewarding and positive lesbian dating.