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Looking for different dating sites?
For lesbian singles looking to meet like-minded women for friendship, hookups or a serious relationship on a mainstream online dating platform, there are some obstacles to overcome.
Often designed with straight people in mind, single ladies who join dating sites looking for women can sometimes have heterosexual women come up in their search results. And who hasn’t ever heard or read a straight guy stating something like “You’re too pretty to be gay.”
Not to mention that some men simply seem to love sliding into your dms with a cheeky unsolicited pic of their crown jewels.
All these inconveniences and obstacles don’t pose a problem on services that cater solely to queer women.
Many sites still having a long way to go when it comes to catering to the diverse needs of the LGBTQ+ community, but we show you the creme de la creme of lesbian dating apps in New Zealand.
Table of Contents
- What’s the most popular lesbian dating site in New Zealand?
- What to consider before you get started on lesbian online dating
- Pros and Cons of Lesbian Dating Apps
- How to make your online dating experience with gay single girls a success?
- Against the online dating patriarchy – Why are lesbian dating apps so successful?
- We also have a review for this dating app
What’s the most popular lesbian dating site in New Zealand?
Using dating sites created specifically for gay, lesbian and bi-curious women is a great way to help you find love. Additionally, some of the best common dating apps are releasing better LGBTQ+-friendly features, so there’s never been a better time to sign up and get started.
Her is the app exclusively for cis lesbians, bi singles and queers who identify as female. It functions like a social network for queer people rather than a lesbian grindr, but you can be sure to find great connections on a friendship or romance base on there.
HER features extra groups for POC and transgender individuals to guarantee a safe dating and flirting experience for everyone.
What many lezzie singles criticize about HER is that you have to connect your Instagram or Facebook account to properly use it. Apart from that, you just have to download it from the app store of your choice and then you’re ready to get started.
Her also informs you about meetups and events in New Zealand, so you never miss out on fun community occasions or parties.
Cupid Media’s very own site for female same-sex dating offers all lonely lezzies the chance to find love. With up to over 350.000 monthly visits worldwide, you enter an active community of homosexual girls not only from New Zealand.
Free features include basic matching and searching members, as well as uploading pictures and communicating with paying users. However, to enable hassle-free unlimited messaging, you should subscribe to a premium membership.
Attract more like-minded singles by using CupidTags. That means to add certain hashtags to your profile which describe things such as personality traits, characteristics or interests and hobbies.
OkCupid matches you with others based on your personality, rather than focusing on looks and physical attraction. They rely on the belief that shared interests are the foundation for an intimate relationship.
When setting up your profile, you answer some fun questions which highlight your individuality. Their algorithm then discovers what’s important and interesting for you and introduces you to users that you’ll genuinely click with.
OkCupid is also very active and vocal for the lesbian and gay community. Therefore, they added additional gender identity and sexuality options in recent years.
On Bumble, women write first. It’s one of the rare apps that take an almost feminist approach to dating. Perfect for anyone who’s got enough of unwanted NSFW content and lame pick up lines.
Although Bumble is an app for everyone, the women rate is much higher than on most bigger dating services.
You can state your sexual orientation in advance and then use Bumble like a lesbian Tinder.
With Bumble Bizz and Bumble BFF, you can also expand your network and connect with others on a business or friendship level.
Lex App is the top text-centered social app for all queer singles and allies, perfectly fitting the needs and desires of the LGBTQ+ community.
Lex clearly positions themselves against discriminatory practices of transphobia, racism, fatphobia and ableism. Thus they are supporting diversity and inclusivity of their community, creating a safe space for everyone.
Instead of swiping through profiles and deciding who’s the most attractive to you, you read about your potential date first and get an impression of who they are before you eventually see what they look like.
If you’re looking for lesbos in New Zealand to have substantial conversations with, you should try out Lex.
Fem is another lesbian dating application that is completely free. Their service is aimed at cis women, homosexual or bisexual females, who are looking for genuine or casual connections.
You can use the filters to look for singles near you or seek for users in other countries which is handy if you travel a lot.
Not only can you add a photo of yourself, profile videos are also a popular option to introduce yourself to other members. Chatting functions are also available via audio, video or photos.
Reportedly, some reviews mention that there are several men registering on Fem which caused distress for some of the registered subscribers.
What to consider before you get started on lesbian online dating
Before you decide which dating site to join, you’ll need to figure out what you’re looking for in a relationship and a potential match.
The lezzies you’ll meet through online dating depends on whether you’re looking for something more serious or are simply looking to hook up with other singles for casual liaisons.
If you’re also open to date nonbinary, genderqueer singles and transgender women, state so in your profile.
Check out the free and paid features
Many apps allow you to register and search for other homosexual singles for free. You can browse the dating site and get a feel for how it works, and then decide whether it offers everything you want from an online dating platform, without having to subscribe to a premium subscription.
On some websites, communicating with other members falls under paid features. So, if the option of messaging for free is what appeals to you most, you’ll need to choose a site that matches those requirements.
Trustability & Safety
A surprising amount of men trying to sign up to lesbian dating apps, so it’s becoming more and more important that you trust the site you want to use. You’ll want to enjoy a safe and secure online dating experience, and many sites are members of the Online Dating Association to safeguard you against fake profiles, unsolicited contact and scams.
Quick & easy sign-up and usability
You’ll be able to create a profile in minutes with the quick and simple sign-up on the homepage of a majority of dating sites. Ideally, the app lets you choose from a range of gender identity and sexual orientation options, supporting inclusivity of trans* people and non-binary singles.
Click here for more Tips & Guides on Lesbian Dating
Some dating sites also have instant messaging in addition to sending private messages, and you can see whether or not someone is offline. You can relax knowing if someone’s seen your conversation and work out who’s actively looking to find a new partner.
Also make up your mind about whether you want to access the dating service on mobile or not. If you prefer to chat via phone, you should settle on an app rather than a website.
Helping you find your match
With many sites having a member database of over a million women and thousands of daily logins,there’s a vast diversity in the people you can date.
Clever algorithms & personality tests help you connect with single ladies based on how their personality, location and interests match with yours.
You can, of course, also browse profiles and photos to narrow down your search further. With the help of detailed and innovative search filter options suitable for queer women, such as genderqueer or cis gender options, you can determine your ideal gay women.
There are lots of members or blogs who share dating and relationship advice, as well as reading success stories of gay women who have found their ideal lesbo through a site.
Some of the best lesbian dating apps have grown into a worldwide online community for homosexual, bisexual, bi-curious and queer women. Many mix dating with social networking, so you can make connections among the LGBTQ+ community.
Read the news on your timeline to find out about events taking place in your area.
Pros and Cons of Lesbian Dating Apps
- The apps are usually inclusive of more than just homosexuality. Pansexuals, bi-curious and trans* people are also welcome
- Some of the sites are also spending an amount of their income on LGBT+ activist projects, so by subscribing, you also support a good cause for the community
- By joining a LGBTQ+/women-only app, you can be rest assured that no one will come at you with weird sexual requests or unrequested nudes
- Ultimately, you’re free to express yourself and live the love life you want without having to hide your sexual identity
- You’ll make great connections in the LGBTQIA+ community. Find someone to attend the next Sydney Pride with
- Unicorn hunters. There are some people who pretend to be bisexual or bi-curious, looking for a girlfriend when in reality, they’ve registered to find a threesome-partner for them and their male counterpart.
- Since polyamory is gaining more popularity, you may have troubles finding someone for a committed relationship. However, if you rather live non-monogamously instead of suffering from the infidelity of a future girlfriend, then you won’t have a problem nevertheless.
- Especially since many dating services focus on appearance and visuals, it can be discouraging not to receive any matches. But don’t lose hope, you’ll find your true partner based on personality and shared life values.
How to make your online dating experience with gay single girls a success?
Figuring out who’s gay
One of the hardest things about same-sex dating is trying to figure out if that woman who caught your eye is interested in women, too. Online dating takes away all the guesswork, making it ideal for newly-out lesbians or bi-curious women who don’t know where to start.
Ditching the stereotypes
Try not to worry too much about stereotypical butch-femme binaries. Although you can add what you’re looking for and what you identify as to the bio in your online dating profile, there’s no rule to say lesbians need to date under the butch/femme umbrella.
Sometimes it’s better to find out what types of women you find attractive naturally and not to overthink the act of dating too much.
Fast hook-ups are less common
When it comes to online lesbian dating, it can be quite different from how straight people or homosexual men operate.
Casual hook-ups don’t happen as frequently or as quickly, and it can take on average around seven days for users of some same-sex dating apps to meet in person.
It shows that dating sites can provide a fun, flirty, and safe environment for LGBT singles to date, find romance and fall in love.
No place for discrimination and homophobia
Treat other users like you want to be treated. That should be vital and clear, but we want to stress it nevertheless. It could also be that you or another member of the lesbian app is still in the closet. Respect that.
Coming out is a difficult topic and a long journey for a lot of people. Others need to remain closeted for safety or religious reasons. No matter the reason, you should try to be supportive in any case.
Furthermore, there are often bisexual, bi-curious, nonbinary or trans*-people using these sites, too.
For them, it’s even more important to feel like they found a safe place to meet a significant other and a supportive online community.
Be part of that support system and don’t make anyone’s life harder.
Against the online dating patriarchy – Why are lesbian dating apps so successful?
Queer theory is not only taught in universities but considered common knowledge, the binary of genders is challenged and homosexuality is not just a scandalous kiss between Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears at the VMAs but a natural part of human sexuality.
It was time for dating apps and sites to step up and move away from their discriminatory patterns. For way too long, hookup apps have focused on a male-centric approach as well. Both left homosexual girls with a feeling of exclusion.
And although there’s still a long way to go, especially for members of the queer community that don’t feel represented by the gay-lesbian binary, most of the decent websites now feature more gender and orientation options and other LGBTQ+-friendly features.
On the most successful dating apps, there are safe chats not only for lesbians but also for queer people of color. They give LGBTQ+ singles the freedom of celebrating their sexual identity and finding the same-sex relationship of their dreams, if not even marriage.